loxycodone:

the guy that vaccuums the apartment hallways is kind of cute sometimes I daydream of inviting him in while my roommate is out

insert 70’s porno music here.

loxycodone:

farting under the covers

do they make butterflys, spiders or bats?

loxycodone:

Roommate has been saying he will do the dishes for over a week. I did them last time and he comes home and goes WHY DID YOU DO THEM YOU DIDNT HAVE TO. Two days ago he fills the sink up and puts some dishes in. They are still sitting there.

I thought I was a messy lazy piece of shit but this

The only time he ever cleans anything is if he thinks he has a chance of getting laid. Yesterday he cleaned his car for the first time in months because he had a hot girl over. Hate this shit

HAHA, “I thought I was a messy lazy piece of shit but this” - If hes motivated in that way maybe thats something you could use to your advantage. Not saying you tease him with nudity (lol you can save that for us) but rather explain the benefits of combing future “hot girls” with a clean apartment.

loxycodone:

I actually really wanted to do Dream On originally but I’m too afraid of the high note

Don’t know what your worried about, you have a good voice and ear for music, so get out there. If you where shit on the other hand….. ;]

loxycodone:

Holy tostitos my life is okay again

its all coming up Millhouse ;]

loxycodone:

I NEED to get my fucking purse back. I NEED money for groceries, bus, and all this other shit. Need to change my mailing address b/c important mail for work. This is fucking bullshit. I dont want to cancel and replace all my cards. I have no fucking food. And my knife was in my purse too so now I dont feel safe walking anywhere. I feel fuckin lost

hmm, this is a tricky one. Some ideas you can try;

  1. Monitor your Credit Cards to make sure no ones using them, if they do you can start from there
  2. Does your phone have any GPS feature that you can use to find out where you where at the time?
  3. Get your friend to take you to his house so you know where it is and essentially keep visiting until you run into him.
  4. Use Facebook to search your friends Facebook contacts/friends until you find him and get him via proxy.

Sorry, not great ideas but its a start.

loxycodone:

I love all of you, I’m sorry I suck at interpersonal interaction

I feel we should celebrate the love with some awesomeness ;] - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQhJ2YgBuzo

loxycodone:

I dont even know where he lives tho

you’ll have to bust out some detective skills, homes style. ;]

loxycodone:

my hands are really dry do you think it would help if I dipped them in yogurt I dont have lotion :(

just dont eat it afterwards, or you could pinch some alovera and squish it up.